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On Both Sides Now

By Paul Smith


Paul Smith teaches special education in the Cognitive Disabilities Borderline program at Oshkosh West High School. He began his teaching career in September of 1998.

It was a funny feeling when I got called at school that morning. Kevin’s teacher wanted to know if he had taken his pills. Oops. I had forgotten to give them to him. So there I was on the receiving end of the phone call that I had made so many times before. When I was the one making the call, I usually had some uncharitable thoughts about the thoughtless parent on the other end. Now here I was on the other end, and I could only assume that the teachers at Kevin’s school would be talking about me that day. That is, unless they’re nicer than I am, which is highly possible. I was in this situation because my partner and I had just started doing foster care, and one of the children in our home had significant behavioral issues.

There was also this note that came home: “It’s Kevin’s turn to bring in snack for his class. He will need to bring in enough for 22 children.” (As if Kevin is going to take the responsibility for this on his own.) Of course I realize that kids need their snacks. And I am all too familiar with the budget constraints of our school district, and how they necessitate parents pitching in to provide the extras. But, I think this might be the “one more thing to do” that pushes me over the edge. Teaching all day at the high school, and then coming home to make sure that two highly energetic, attention-starved children eat dinner, take showers, do their homework and go to bed pretty much depletes the energy I have. I’ve already given up yoga class, the New York Times and Entertainment Weekly. Nothing is left to cut out to make time to comply with all the requests that come home in that overstuffed backpack every day.

So I’ve resigned myself to being a bare-minimum sort of parent. I’ll get him to school every day clean, rested, and fed. But I can’t volunteer at school. And I can’t do fundraisers. And I can’t go to PTO meetings. I’m sorry. I just can’t. And I wonder – how do other parents do it? Who are all those other parents on the playground in the morning? The ones who, when it’s their son’s turn to bring in snack, bring in individual cups of freshly cut fruit with a homemade yogurt dipping sauce? (Kevin brought in cups of chocolate pudding. Sorry. It was easy, and he liked it. I swear, I used to care a lot about nutrition.)

And as this school year has progressed , Kevin’s teachers have contacted me quite a bit about his behavior and progress at school. And that’s great – we all know how important that communication between teachers and parents is to the success of the student. I just wish that once in a while the news from school was good. And I can’t help but feel that the notes and e-mails sound accusatory. Of course, Kevin’s only been with us for a couple of months, and his problems are several years old. And of course, his teachers are wonderful people who were only providing information, and certainly not pointing any fingers. But for the first time I’m feeling the disappointment of a parent whose child is not performing well. And living with the disappointment day after day as we review point sheets and progress reports can be quite devastating.

So now I wonder if my notes and phone calls home have ever inspired such dismay. I think of myself as a relatively laid-back and undemanding teacher. And luckily for me, high school teachers don’t have to think as much about snacks and class fundraisers and parent volunteers. But I have sent notes home about school supplies that need to be obtained, and homework that needs to be completed. I’ve certainly made the “Has your child had medication today?” call many times. I’ve talked to parents all about the things they should do to help their children. I would now venture to guess that many of them are just unable to do all I suggest – especially since some of them are single parents, or have several children, financial difficulties, or health problems. I’ve made countless phone calls and held many conferences and IEP meetings where I am the bearer of bad tidings. And I have a newfound sympathy for how the news feels when it’s received by a parent who has heard a lot of the same bad news before.

And now, as a parent, I appreciate even more the talent and dedication of the teachers and staff in our school district. Both of the kids' classroom teachers are amazingly creative and caring. Kevin’s special education teacher is so competent and helpful. The principal and the school secretary go out of their way to make every family feel welcomed, and every child feel cared for. I’ve known these people were amazing before, because I’ve worked with them for going on four years now. But it’s something else entirely when it’s my kid on the line, depending on them for his education, health, and general well being. So, even if I’m not in the running for a Parent of the Year award, I’m happy to have had the opportunity to work with my district colleagues in a new capacity.

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Posted November 29, 2005