Reedsburg Counselor'S Book Advises Parents

During a 15-year career as a counselor in the Reedsburg School District, Gary Williams learned a thing or two about relating to children. He shares that knowledge in his recently published book, "Warm, Simple Wisdom for Caring Parents."

"The book doesn't have new research, just things we need to reminded of as parents," said Williams, a father of two. "It's motivational and inspirational. It's heart-related, not head-related."

In the book, Williams wrote, "Parenting is not a spectator sport! Being a parent means getting involved: doing things, listening, reading, playing, watching, being a kid again, having fun, being serious, getting right down there at their level and participating!"

In another section, Williams wrote about quality time. "Remember when they used to say 'Give your child quality time?' Children also need quantity time. You need to be around your children for them to learn from you and that means that you find time, schedule time, and take the time to be with them. Parenting is not a 'when it's convenient' type of activity. If you have kids, you find the time to be with them.

"If they are having troubles (at home, at school, the day care center, etc.) look at your schedule, look at your spouses schedule. Are you home with them?Are you doing things with them? (really with them?)"

He began writing the book in the early 1990s recently decided to have the project professionally published. It's available for purchase on Amazon.com for $13.97.

Williams said that a major crisis is facing the world, and that's not terrorism. "Adults are abandoning kids, both emotionally and in terms of time.

"Parents work hard and are torn in so many ways. I want to help the kids."

One major frustration that parents have with their children is behavior. Whether it's fighting with a sibling or talking back at home, parents may lose site of the child and focus on one aspect - his or her misbehavior, Williams said. "Then, the child gets more attention for behavior problems."

Outside of the school, Williams has donated countless hours to helping children. Eight years ago, he began organizing bicycling trips for children aged 10-13. This summer, 100 kids will join him during seven trips. Some trips include overnight camp-outs, and the children will travel as many as 50 miles by bicycle a day.

"There's a sense of adventure missing from the structured activities of our educational system," he said. The trips teach kids lifestyle tools, raise self-esteem and self-confidence and challenge both emotionally and physically.

Williams has also participated in a program called "Kids Companion." The program pairs kids who need a mentor with community members.

Williams wrote the book and stays involved with kids because he thinks of himself their advocate. "Kids are our future," he said. "If we take care of the little ones, they'll take care of us."

Posted March 27, 2002