YET, SOMEHOW IT WORKS…I THINK

Now that we’ve all hopefully had an opportunity to shower off the mud from the relentless slinging, it’s time to reflect back on the November 7 elections and ponder forward into the future. Upon my own reflections, I now realize that much was learned from this past campaign. I learned that we have actually had elected officials serving in this state who have released from custody the most vicious and dangerous of murderers after only a firm, fifteen minute scolding at the local county jail. I’ve learned that we had candidates that not only want to take away our guns but also every other household utensil that could possibly be used as a weapon, leaving us with nothing but those plastic knives and forks they give you on an airplane. And, I realized that with the wrong vote on a certain amendment, every man, woman, and child in America would soon be a homosexual.

Indeed the stakes were high. Imagine an America with thousands of gay Ted Bundy’s wandering the streets wildly wielding spatulas and salad tongs. Frightening. But fortunately, this is America. And we have an electoral process that rids our government of such scandalous scoundrels so they can then become fulltime lobbyists.

It’s an odd process, yet somehow it works.

I also learned that victory in any contest requires the candidate to get out the vote, fully understanding that this task is exceedingly difficult in a country where the vast majority of the electorate has the short-term attention span of a decomposing yak. We know this yak phenomenon exists, because it takes 100 phone calls and 435 pounds of literature before they’ll remember to vote. It takes more television ads than United Health Care has lawsuits. And it takes me to stand on a street corner holding a poster like Heidi Fleiss with a for sale sign. Even then, only half remember.

Frustrating, yet somehow it works.

And finally of course, it takes money, lots and lots of money. Most single campaigns cost more than a small country’s gross national product. It’s peculiar that a candidate would spend hundreds of thousands of dollars to win a job that pays 45 thousand. That’s like paying a quarter of million dollars for a new Hyundai or a buck and a half on a ticket to an Ashlee Simpson concert.

Peculiar, yet somehow it works.

Now with the election over and our reflections complete, we ponder brighter tomorrows, while recognizing that we are likely to have at least one of our candidates turn their back on us faster than Britney Spears on Kevin Federline. But we accept this recognition as part of the process, and we move forward expecting better days. We move forward embracing and nurturing our candidates, asking only that they vote right at the right time. And, we move forward realizing that the candidate that we just worked so hard to elect may well be the recipient of our mud in only two years. Yes, it’s a tenuous relationship. Yet, a relationship that somehow works.

Of course the definition of the word “works” is the subject for another day.

That’s all for now.