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Helping children cope with terrorist acts
These tips were released September 11, 2001,
by the National Association of School Psychologists in response
to the acts of terrorism in New York, Washington, D.C., and Pennsylvania
Tips for Parents and Teachers
Tuesday's tragic acts of terrorism are unprecedented in the American
experience. Children, like many people, may be confused or frightened
by the news and will look to adults for information and guidance
on how to react. Parents and school personnel can help children
cope first and foremost by establishing a sense of safety and security.
As the nation learns more about what happened and why, adults can
continue to help children work through their emotions and perhaps
even use the process as a learning experience.
All Adults Should:
- Model calm and control. Children take their emotional cues from
the significant adults in their lives. Avoid appearing anxious
or frightened.
- Reassure children that they are safe and so are the other important
adults in their lives. Explain that these buildings were targeted
for their symbolism and that schools, neighborhoods, and regular
office buildings are not at risk.
- Remind them that trustworthy people are in charge. Explain that
the government emergency workers, police, fireman, doctors, and
even the military are helping people who are hurt and are working
to ensure that no further tragedies occur.
- Let children know that it is okay to feel upset. Explain that
all feelings are okay when a tragedy like this occurs. Let children
talk about their feelings and help put them into perspective.
Even anger is okay, but children may need help and patience from
adults to assist them in expressing these feelings appropriately.
- Observe children's emotional state. Depending on their age,
children may not express their concerns verbally. Changes in behavior,
appetite, and sleep patterns can also indicate a child's level
of grief, anxiety or discomfort. Children will express their emotions
differently. There is no right or wrong way to feel or express
grief.
- Tell children the truth. Don't try to pretend the event has
not occurred or that it is not serious. Children are smart. They
will be more worried if they think you are too afraid to tell
them what is happening.
- Stick to the facts. Don't embellish or speculate about what
has happened and what might happen. Don't dwell on the scale or
scope of the tragedy, particularly with young children.
- Keep your explanations developmentally appropriate. Early elementary
school children need brief, simple information that should be
balanced with reassurances that the daily structures of their
lives will not change. Upper elementary and early middle school
children will be more vocal in asking questions about whether
they truly are safe and what is being done at their school. They
may need assistance separating reality from fantasy. Upper middle
school and high school students will have strong and varying opinions
about the causes of violence in schools and society. They will
share concrete suggestions about how to make school safer and
how to prevent tragedies in society. They will be more committed
to doing something to help the victims and affected community.
For all children, encourage them to verbalize their thoughts and
feelings. Be a good listener!
What Parents Can Do
- Focus on your children over the next day or so. Tell them you
love them and everything will be okay. Try to help them understand
what has happened, keeping in mind their developmental level.
- Make time to talk with your children. Remember if you do not
talk to your children about this incident someone else will. Take
some time and determine what you wish to say.
- Stay close to your children. Your physical presence will reassure
them and give you the opportunity monitor their reaction. Many
children will want actual physical contact. Give plenty of hugs.
Let them sit close to you, and make sure to take extra time at
bedtime to cuddle and to reassure them that they are loved and
safe.
- Limit the amount of your child's television viewing of these
events. If they must watch, watch with them for a brief time;
then turn the set off. Don't sit mesmerized re-watching the same
events over and over again.
- Maintain a "normal" routine. To the extent possible
stick to your family's normal routine for dinner, homework, chores,
bedtime, etc., but don't be inflexible. Children may have a hard
time concentrating on schoolwork or falling asleep at night.
- Spend extra time reading or playing quiet games with your children
before bed. These activities are calming, foster a sense of closeness
and security, and reinforce a sense of normalcy. Spend more time
tucking them in. Let them sleep with a light on if they ask for
it.
- Safeguard your children's physical health. Stress can take a
physical toll on children as well as adults. Make sure your children
get appropriate sleep, exercise and nutrition.
- Consider praying or thinking hopeful thoughts for the victims
and their families. It may be a good time to take your children
to church or the synagogue, write a poem, or draw a picture to
help your child express their feelings and feel that they are
somehow supporting the victims and their families.
- Find out what resources your school has in place to help children
cope. Most schools are likely to be open and often are a good
place for children to regain a sense of normalcy. Being with their
friends and teachers can help. Schools should also have a plan
for making counseling available to children and adults who need
it.
What Schools Can Do
- Assure children that they are safe and that schools are well
prepared to take care of all children at all times.
- Maintain structure and stability within the schools. It would
be best, however, not to have tests or major projects within the
next few days.
- Have a plan for the first few days back at school. Include school
psychologists, counselors and crisis team members in planning
the school's response.
- Provide teachers and parents with information about what to
say and do for children in school and at home.
- Have teachers provide information directly to their students,
not during the public address announcements.
- Have school psychologists and counselors available to talk to
student and staff who may need or want extra support.
- Be aware of students who may have recently experienced a personal
tragedy or a have personal connection to victims or their families.
Even a child who has been to visit the Pentagon or the World Trade
Center may feel a personal loss. Provide these students extra
support and leniency if necessary.
- Know what community resources are available for children who
may need extra counseling. School psychologists can be very helpful
in directing families to the right community resources.
- Allow time for age appropriate classroom discussion and activities.
Do not expect teachers to provide all of the answers. They should
ask questions and guide the discussion, but not dominate it. Other
activities can include art and writing projects, play acting,
and physical games.
- Be careful not to stereotype people or countries that might
be home to the terrorists. Children can easily generalize negative
statements and develop prejudice.
- Refer children who exhibit extreme anxiety, fear or anger to
mental health counselors in the school. Inform their parents.
- Provide an outlet for students' desire to help. Consider making
get well cards or sending letters to the families and survivors
of the tragedy, or writing thank you letters to doctors, nurses,
and other health care professionals as well as emergency rescue
workers, firefighters and police.
- Monitor or restrict viewing of this horrendous event as well
as the aftermath.
For information on helping children and youth with this crisis,
contact NASP at (301) 657-0270 or visit NASP's website at www.nasponline.org
NASP represents 22,000 school psychologists and related professionals
throughout the United States and abroad. NASP's mission is to promote
educationally and psychologically healthy environments for all children
and youth by implementing research-based, effective programs that
prevent problems, enhance independence and promote optimal learning.
This is accomplished through state-of-the-art research and training,
advocacy, ongoing program evaluation, and caring professional service.
National Association of School Psychologists, 4340 East West Highway,
Suite 402, Bethesda, MD 20814, (301) 657-0270, Fax (301) 657-0275
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