Talking With Your Child

Getting your child to open up can sometimes be a difficult task. Be gentle but persistent when it comes to communicating. You can then build trust and openness between you and your child.

Here are ways to create open channels of communication:

Get to know your child's friends. Your child is more apt to talk about his or her experiences if you know his or her friends.

Compliment your child. Look for something, either small or large that your child has done well and compliment him or her about it. By doing so, you will also improve your child's self-esteem.

Be approachable. If your child doesn't feel you are open to talking about a particular subject, chances are he or she will talk with someone else.

LISTEN - give your child think time, and time to talk without interrupting him or her. Paraphrase what your child says to be sure you understand and that both of you are thinking along the same lines.

Be consistent. Be positive. If your child has done something wrong, make sure to stress that the behavior is wrong or bad, not your child. Low grades doesn't mean he or she is not smart. Ask how you can help. Let your child know that mistakes are okay.

Help your child be positive. Help them stop negative self talk ("It's hopeless") and be positive about themselves to say, "I can do it."

Ask what happened at school-be specific:

• What do you do in your favorite subject?
• What library book are you reading?
• What was the best part of your day?
• Do you have any papers I need to see or sign?
• Ask their opinions about school, current events, music-anything that interests them.

Set the mood. It's best to choose a comfortable time and place.

Set aside a daily time to talk. Over breakfast and/or over dinner, to talk about the day's events.

Remember that kids "need space." Don't try to force a conversation just because you're ready to have one.

Encourage self-applause.

Talk with love. Show love and affection on one side and discipline on the other.